yes and no.

Almost all of my conversations in the past week have included some version of the following: "Hey, you're leaving Cairo soon - are you excited? How does that feel?"
And every time I open my mouth to answer, I find myself saying different versions of the same thing. Mostly, "Yes and no."

Yes - I am unbelievably excited to have my family and my friends in Atlanta in my life again. To drive a car and eat Mexican food and resume my life that I abandoned a year ago. I am ecstatic about leaving AUC and heading back to Georgia Tech. For American football and the smell of bacon. To rejoin my stateside AIESEC family and start making a change in Atlanta. For Target and Urban Outfitters and good beer and having voicemail on my phone. To start rebuilding a life in the States.

No - I have had migraine-inducing anxiety attacks over not knowing what will happen when I go home. And leaving my Egyptian family and friends. I've started randomly tearing up in the backs of taxis and get nostalgiac over the smell of ta'ameyya for the life that I have made here. AUC is a drag, but the people that I have met there are definitely not, and the AIESECers here have built me something I feel like I will be removign bones knowing I won't see them whenever I want. I am terrified of reverse culture shock and all that comes with it - I know it will be worse this time. I am a very different person, and the US is a very different place than when I last saw it.

It's daunting, and I think that the next few weeks will only make it more difficult. But it's all part of the challenge that I signed up for.

A Proud American Abroad.

This is the man.

I am so proud, again. I can't even begin to describe. Watching it, surrounded by other Americans in my apartment, it was a surreal, enlightening, exciting, incredible, indescribable moment. Even amidst Wolf Blitzer's insistent buzz of analysis and commenting on triviality of things like Aretha Franklin's odd hat (who cares? It's the Aretha Franklin) - the amazingness of this moment shone through. And being here is a unique experience - I would be proud anywhere in the world, but being in the midst of the Gaza crisis, the Arab world, the disapproval of all things Bush - it's going to be a different view today. More than anything, I think that this election and all the subsequent hope it's bringing is going to also bring a change of paradigm, not only for the American perspective on how we view ourselves as well as how we see the world, but changing on how the rest of the world sees us. And right now, it has turned into a pretty good view.

In all the pre-inauguration excitement, I have been watching everything I can to feel like I am as much a part of the inaugration as possible. I found this awesome thing from the BBC called "Notes to Obama" - advice from some pretty incredible people to the new President, and the one from Maya Angelou is my favorite. (It's funny to think that her poem for Clinton's inauguration is almost more applicable now.)

I can't stop thinking about this. How excited I am. How inspired I am. How incredibly proud I am.

Merry Christmas.

It's no Christmas in the states, that's for sure. But Christmas is still a time to celebrate. To love. To be happy. And on this side of the world, that is exactly what we are doing. Tonight we're planning on a big dinner with all of our Egyptian family, we'll be having pancakes for breakfast.

Santa even came.

So Merry Christmas. I miss you all, and I love you. I hope you are happy, warm, and surrounded by people you love. I just wish I could be there with you.

yes, We can.

"That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."
- Barack Obama -

I'm more proud than I think I can put into words.

it's Election Day.

Today, I am more homesick than ever. I know that if I had been home, I would have been horrified by the constant stream of ad campaigns and missing out on everything that I have been experiencing in Egypt. But the thought that tonight, the future of my country and my career is going to be decided. And I'll be waiting up at 4am on the other side of the world, studying for my Arabic midterm tomorrow. I am anxious and excited and elated and terrified all rolled together.

Four years ago, I was 17 - too young to vote in the election. I was also extremely uneducated and uninterested in politics. I still wanted to be a doctor at that point, and I didn't know the impact of the vote that was about to happen. I fell asleep while they were counting votes in Ohio and Florida, and in the morning, I was still indifferent to what had happened.

I'm not anymore. It's election day, so go vote.

ooofdah, fail.

way to go, Georgia.

happy birthday, america.