this time tomorrow.

I am at such a loss for words on how to describe leaving. And then this song popped up on my iPod on my last bus ride home from AUC.

This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow what will we know
Well we still be here watching an in-flight movie show

I'll leave the sun behind me and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
Seven miles below ma I can see the world and it ain't so big at all
This time tomorrow what will we see
Field full of houses, endless rows of crowded streets

I don't where I'm going, I don't want to see
I feel the world below me looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me, and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion and the world below doesn't matter much to me

This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across any empty sea
This time tomorrow, this time tomorrow
- The Kinks.

This time tomorrow, I will be on the other side of the world. And ready, I think, for the next big step that it will bring. But tonight, it's time to say goodbye.

there will be a Cairo shaped hole in my Heart.

"When arriving in a city, we see streets in perspective. Sequences of buildings with no meaning. Everything is unknown, virgin.

Later we'll have lived in this city. We'll have walked in its streets. We'll have been to the end of the perspectives. We'll have seen all the buildings. We'll have lived stories with people. When we'll have lived in this city, we'll have taken this street five, ten, hundreds of times.

After a moment, everything belongs to you because you've lived there."

-L'auberge espagnole

the endings of oh-eight, in pictures.

A room with a view.

A new year, a new start. The view from my apartment. Yes, that is the Nile and most of Zamalek. Jealous? You should come and see it for yourself. More apartment pictures to come...

A new MCP.
Tiffany Curtiss, one of my heroes not only in AIESEC but in my whole life. One day, this woman cornered me after an AIESEC meeting to come to dinner. Her (gentle) pushing is the reason I have come so far in this organization, the reason why I have such high goals that I am working to attain, and why I have been inspired to see every side of this world, know it, and make it a better place. If you don't know her yet, you should get to know her. You will know her someday either way because when they say change agent, this is what they mean. This picture is from the very very beginning, and always makes me smile to think of all that has happened since then. Congratulations Tiffany, I am so excited to come back to AIESEC in the US in June and work with you!

A friend heading back stateside.
Roommate number two to head back to the USofA. This girl has infiltrated my vocabulary, made these past few months bearable, renewed my love for hopping around like a crazy, and is totally ball-hair. I'm going to miss bovering her and commenting on various repressions that we experienced in this country, and so much more.

A Jenny-Benny.
Hey guess what? I miss you. Yeah, that's right. Like tons.

A city that I love.
Cairo, Al-Qaharra, Masr. I love this city. Yes, you can see the pyramids in this picture, if you look really hard. I'm celebrating the entry of 2009 in Siwa with Christina, and in just over a week I will be flying to London and Paris. But Cairo is becoming home.

Happy New Year. 2009 I'm feeling will be a fantastic year, insha'Allah.

A Long December

And it's only the second day.

I have to admit, though, that I am so relieved that the semester is ending. It has been - I'm trying to think of an appropriate adjective here - arduous? difficult? soul-searching? - whatever its been, its almost over. I am ready for the new semester specifically because it is new - a lot of new things. A new apartment, a new set of classes, new people, new chances, new experiences. On the other side of December bright and shiny and new.
But that means I have to get through December first. And that means a lot of other things. I have to finish a paper by the end of the term, and give a presentation about another paper I have already turned in. I have two exams, but strangely not really concerned about either of them. I have to revise, edit, and prepare a portfolio of my writing, as well as write my own curriculum for my independent study for next semester. I have to move out of my apartment, and watch everyone leave me, again. My roommates, friends, everyone non-Egyptian, basically, heads back to the states this month. I have to watch everyone leave, again. And I spend Christmas when everyone is gone. And I have to wait until March to see anyone from my life back home. Sometimes, I don't think my heart can take it.
Granted, December means Turkey. It means a break from school. It means I'm that much closer to going to London, and Paris. I'm that much closer to going home. I can't tell what is closer and what is farther away - my perception has gone all distorted.

It's scary. Everything seems so far away here. People, responsibility, the rest of the world. Everything just seems distant.

I've got to find a way to reconnect. Otherwise, this is going to be a long, long December.

Aasefer bil'Qahara.

maa'salema.

See you on the other side of the world. 9 Months of Cairene living begins. I'm ready for the next great adventure.

masalema masr.

see you in September, insha'Allah.

on mint tea and goodbyes.

There is a crumbly rim of sugar on the edge of my tea cup, still steaming although its been sitting undisturbed for the past several minutes. Absentmindedly, I am stirring the escaped mint leaf around as I think about everything that is poured into that cup of tea, or poured into my life over the past two months.

I have been sitting here, in this café, drinking tea and avoiding the reality of saying goodbye to everyone who has left their thumbprint on my life here in Cairo - and then understanding that most of them will not be here when I get back. I am torn between that crushing reality and the happiness of me stepping out into Hartsfield-Jackson on Monday night and seeing so many people that I love that have been absent from my life for the past two months, and will be absent again after the first of September. What weighs more - the pending heartache over my friends that are leaving here, or the existing one for everyone in my non-Egyptian life?

I find myself avoiding the responsibilities of my life at the moment in my cup of tea, including answering that question. Although I know it isn't true, I keep stirring pretending that I can drown all of those thoughts like a mint leaf, and they would dissolve like sugar.

Four.

I have four days left in the States. I am indescribably terrified and excited and want to stay and leave at the same time.
I continue to procrastinate despite my earlier declaration against it, but I think I am subconsciously playing out this terrible anxiety in apathetic actions - if I do nothing, I feel nothing.
Clearly - from my odd dreams and minute freakouts - this is not working.
Enough is enough. Time to pack up my life.

byebye baby, baby good-bye

this week has been one of goodbyes - and to two people in particular. two incredible people. i love you both.

the first - Mr. AIESEC. good luck in Turkey, and watch out for these two. miss you already kid.

the second - the sad break up of Team America. i love you girly, and see you stateside.
i think this is just the beginning of a lot of goodbyes. it's just twelve days left.