MIS 2009

AIESEC in Egypt and the people that I have met through it constantly reminds me of the power of AIESEC. This conference has made me think a great deal about who I am in AIESEC, what I am able to do through this organization, and how to continue developing within the organization. AIESEC is not perfect, and neither am I - but we fit together in a way that has inherently changed who I am. I want to thank AIESEC in Egypt for making this past year what it was for me, and the people in this organization for being members of my Egyptian family.
بحبكم قوي

hamthrax.

Fact: There have been no confirmed cases of H1N1 in Egypt.
Fun Fact: That doesn't stop the government making poor decisions and adding to the international crisis of crazy.

The mandatory slaughter of Egypt's around 300,000 pigs was more than a step against the infection of the Egyptian community by this (common, highly treatable, blown out of proportion, other suitable adjectives inserted here) virus, and is a political move to reinforce the social, economic, and political marginalization of already poor communities within Egyptian society.

Egypt is a mostly Muslim nation, about 90% of the population, the remaining 10% are members of either Eastern Orthodox Christian Churches, Catholic, or Coptic. Now while the Eastern Orthodox and Catholic Egyptians are, on the whole, fairly wealthy, Coptic Christians are split between the upper-echelons of Egyptian society and the absolute lowest, one of which is the zabaleen, the Garbage-Collectors of Cairo who live in a small section of the city called Menshiyat Nasr, or Garbage City. This community is by far the poorest and most disenfranchised in the entire capital, and it is often cited as a result of the members of the community being Coptic and raising and eating pigs, an act prohibited by Islam. The pigs serve as both assistants in the disposal of the organic waste that they collect, and a food source, and by killing the pigs they are only furthering the divide between Muslim and non-Muslim society, keeping the poor poor, and adding to the panic that people are facing on an international level. This targeting of this community creates a further mistrust in the State, which after all these years of being confined to a smaller and smaller physical space while participating in demeaning physical labor, is both expected and counter-productive. This community needs schools and opportunities to participate in the direction of their own development, not pig slaughters and police violence.

On another note, the Association for the Protection of the Environment, an NGO that I have briefly worked with during my time here, works within Menshiyat Nasr, providing a health center, a daycare, a primary school, and a craft center that uses recycled cloth and paper to make everything from embroidered tapestries to wedding invitations and handbags. And, randomly, these handbags are now selling at Marc Jacobs' flagship store in New York City. Though, in my opinion, they picked the ugliest ones possible.

اسرتي في مصر

Reaffirmation.

First of all, I am fine. Cairo will be fine. The world at large will be fine. It's just at the moment it feels like it's moving in some form of alternative gravity. Like it should be spinning another way. But I promise that I am fine.

I want to understand why something like this happens. Actually, I don't think anyone really could understand it, or want to understand the reasoning behind it. I have stood in that spot, exactly. Walked through it dozens of times. Met friends there, laughed there. I could find it in my sleep. And yesterday, there was an explosion there.

Cairo has never left me feeling unsafe or insecure. I have never equated it with terrorism, and I have worked very hard to make sure others understand my conviction. I want people to understand how beautiful it is here, how breathtaking it is. I want people to understand why I love it. And I do. It is not that Egypt is a perfect place. There are many things, in fact, that are wrong with it. Philip's arrest kind of threw that back into focus, and yesterday's events made it even more clear that this country, the region, the mentality that exists about both of them, need work, but more than that - that they are worth working for.

This only reaffirms the choices I have made. There is work to be done and challenges to be faced. And if not me, who? If not now, when? There has been time enough spent worrying, accusing, and vilifying. There needs to be a step towards understanding, although in reality it is more like several leaps, but its not fifteen kilometers of unpassable desert. It is not the expanse of the Atlantic or the Gulf or the gaps in language and culture. It is only the distance between people.

the Adventure Hat.

The Adventure Hat: (n) a hat like object worn in adventurous situations or to create an atmosphere of adventure when situations are already ridiculous. For example: Siwa Oasis, Egypt. Where, during a New Year's Eve party, you are forced into participating in a bellydancing show.
And take obligatory tourist pictures.
And make friends with the locals, who take you on tours of their town by Donkey Cart, introduce you to their families, impart local sensibilities, and tell you that you, and your hair, cause problems. This one's name is Gom3a.
And go sandboarding in the Great Sand Sea in the Sahara with some Bedouin men that sing you Arabic love songs.
And have breathtaking incredible moments. Like watching the sunset over the dunes and remembering how incredibly small you are. What a way to ring in the new year.

the endings of oh-eight, in pictures.

A room with a view.

A new year, a new start. The view from my apartment. Yes, that is the Nile and most of Zamalek. Jealous? You should come and see it for yourself. More apartment pictures to come...

A new MCP.
Tiffany Curtiss, one of my heroes not only in AIESEC but in my whole life. One day, this woman cornered me after an AIESEC meeting to come to dinner. Her (gentle) pushing is the reason I have come so far in this organization, the reason why I have such high goals that I am working to attain, and why I have been inspired to see every side of this world, know it, and make it a better place. If you don't know her yet, you should get to know her. You will know her someday either way because when they say change agent, this is what they mean. This picture is from the very very beginning, and always makes me smile to think of all that has happened since then. Congratulations Tiffany, I am so excited to come back to AIESEC in the US in June and work with you!

A friend heading back stateside.
Roommate number two to head back to the USofA. This girl has infiltrated my vocabulary, made these past few months bearable, renewed my love for hopping around like a crazy, and is totally ball-hair. I'm going to miss bovering her and commenting on various repressions that we experienced in this country, and so much more.

A Jenny-Benny.
Hey guess what? I miss you. Yeah, that's right. Like tons.

A city that I love.
Cairo, Al-Qaharra, Masr. I love this city. Yes, you can see the pyramids in this picture, if you look really hard. I'm celebrating the entry of 2009 in Siwa with Christina, and in just over a week I will be flying to London and Paris. But Cairo is becoming home.

Happy New Year. 2009 I'm feeling will be a fantastic year, insha'Allah.

Merry Christmas.

It's no Christmas in the states, that's for sure. But Christmas is still a time to celebrate. To love. To be happy. And on this side of the world, that is exactly what we are doing. Tonight we're planning on a big dinner with all of our Egyptian family, we'll be having pancakes for breakfast.

Santa even came.

So Merry Christmas. I miss you all, and I love you. I hope you are happy, warm, and surrounded by people you love. I just wish I could be there with you.

Khalas, AUC.

My semester just officially ended with my last exam. I am so incredibly relieved that it is over. And although everyone is talking about their plans for going home, I've got my own plan for the coming two month break. Not that I don't want to go home - it just didn't work out that way.

So - my plan:

Reading. I just borrowed 10 books from the library. yes, 10. There will be a lot of reading going on. And writing, insha'Allah.
Sleeping. So much sleeping will occur you won't even believe it.
Finding a new apartment with fast internet and a comfy bed for said sleeping.
Traveling. Paris and London for sure, and hopefully somewhere else, too. Maybe Israel/Palestine or Lebanon or Jordan or Syria or Siwa or something.
Showing my Mom what living in Cairo is like.
Fixing things that have been broken.
Getting more involved with AIESEC again.
Working on my Arabic.
Seeing touristy things that I still haven't seen since moving here in June.
Celebrate Christmas and New Year's Cairene style. With a touch of Americana.
Get ready to restart AUC in February.

And on another note - I was looking at my dashboard and basically the only thing on it are sticky-notes, the weather, and countdowns.
The weather is just a constant reminder that I live in the desert, but it's not too different from Atlanta weather honestly. It's about 60 degrees here pretty consistently, but it will keep dropping more.
The sticky-notes are mostly reminders - things I need to do, music I'm interested in, magazines and editorials that I want to look at getting subscriptions to in the states, and things like that.
But it's the countdowns that got me really. Here they are:

20 days until London and Paris
1 month until Mommy comes to Cairo
3 months until Audie comes to Cairo

All exciting upcoming events in my life. But why I mention them at all are the next two:

5 months and 11 days until home
6 months and 19 days since you've lived in the sandbox.

I have lived in Cairo for more than 6 months. And I am well past my halfway point. And there are less than 6 left. There are times when I walk down the street and can't remember what it's like to see stoplights. Or street signs in English. I don't know what it is going to be like not to listen to the call to prayer or smell limes and ta'amayia and shisha smoke when I walk home. Or when I was reading a website in Arabic and I didn't even notice it. Life in Cairo has become so natural that I don't even think about it, and that is both weird and kind of amazing too. It's just hard to make sense of it all sometimes.

The Island of Egypt.

I have to apologize for my lack of posting, communication, or understanding of global events for the past two days. The internet has not been working. And by not working, I mean nowhere. In the entire country. I'm not exaggerating for comic benefit - there was literally no internets in the whole of the country.

Imagine. A whole country. Removed from contact with the rest of the world. For two whole days.

Mabrouk, Masr. You are some kind of genius.

why yes, I AM activating Egypt.

ACTIVATE 2008 starts tomorrow - but I'm heading off today for what will be my fifth conference facilitating. By far, this is the most organized, most well-thought-out, and most inclusive planning process that I have worked in so far in AIESEC. EVERY session is something new that we created in the past few days, and EVERY faci has been excited, involved, and full of ideas. It's a different working culture here, and I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with it. The sessions are going to be so exciting - they are situated around homegroups, and I've got the newbie track, so it will be even more fun. More dancing, more inspiration, and more talking about this insane organization that I love. This will be my first conference with a full-blown simulation (this one is about PBoXes) and actually discussing the AIESEC Way, History, and organizational structure without censoring or filtering it. I bet all of your Halloween candy that it will be a fantastical spectacle.

yellah AIESEC Egypt!

Prepare for little to no sleeping...

because ACTIVATE 2008 shenanigans start today.

Sunday: Planning 7:30-10:00
Monday: Planning 6:30-9:00
Tuesday: Planning 12:00 - 9:00
Wednesday: Planning 10:00 to whenever we finish.
Thursday through Saturday: A face-meltingly awesome conference.

get ready...

a much needed reactivation

After a week filled with some existential crises, I've found out that I am on the Faci Team for ACTIVATE 2008 - Egypt's NLDS. I'm pretty excited about it, and the 150 newbies that will be in my track. I guess it's time to brush up on my dancin' skillz.

!عيد موبارك

!ساسافير الى مرسى علم

Hibbity-jibbities.

In the middle of writing my first piece for my creative writing class (amidst the plethora of readings for Human Rights Law and Contemporary Political Islam and my new AIESEC work), and I realized how terrified I am of actually writing work to be reviewed by people who are serious as they describe themselves as authors and poets who live on their art and breathe and talk and sleep and eat words.
I have written, but not ever for anyone else - unless you count the random blabbery of this blog or the assignments from sophomore year at Central. This is going to be quite a step. We'll see how it goes.

A note on Ramadan: Still going strong. I think, more than anything, I suffer from lack of sleep instead of lack of food. The boys just sleep until Iftar, which is highly impossible given I have a life to keep up with that does not function nocturnally. But with only a little over two weeks left, I think that I can ride it out - I just need to figure out what to do for Eid el-Fitr. I have a week at the beginning of October, and I could spend it either in Marsa'allam with AIESECers and roommates, in Spain with my beloved future roommate, or somewhere else yet to be decided. Insha'allah, kids, I will be doing something exciting.

why Ramadan?

My first week of Ramadan fasting is drawing to a close, and it has been difficult to last throughout the day, but not impossible. I'm kind of strangely proud of the willpower that I have to make it so long. A lot of people asked me why I fast, and it is something that I have been thinking about quite a bit while I while away the hours between suhoor and iftar. Clearly, Ramadan fasting is not just about not eating or drinking - it is about re-establishing your connection with your family, your community, and your faith. For me it is also about connecting with Egyptian and Islamic culture, learning more about Islam, and an experiencing something that defines a whole section of the world. It is the fifth day of fasting, and Eid el-Fitr begins in 24 days. I plan to keep regular updates about fasting, Ramadan, and everything here - let me know if you have any questions.

the Second First Night.

Egypt has not changed without me here. It has welcomed me back with open arms again, ready to carve out a new year. School starts on Sunday, and the apartment is beautiful and filled with incredible people.

I arrived on the first day of Ramadan, which is going more easily than I thought it would be (except for a bit of dry mouth), and had an incredible night of shisha, felucca, suhoor in the streets, and meeting incredible new people and hanging out with everyone that has been absent in my life since July. It has been incredible, and I remember falling in love with Egypt in June - it's like falling all over again.

ohebak.

Aasefer bil'Qahara.

maa'salema.

See you on the other side of the world. 9 Months of Cairene living begins. I'm ready for the next great adventure.

home again, abroad again.

I miss Cairo already. I miss my gaggle. I miss my boys and their herd of dancing camels. I miss AIESEC in Egypt. I miss the feeling like I know what I am doing.

home, but not.

masalema masr.

see you in September, insha'Allah.

on mint tea and goodbyes.

There is a crumbly rim of sugar on the edge of my tea cup, still steaming although its been sitting undisturbed for the past several minutes. Absentmindedly, I am stirring the escaped mint leaf around as I think about everything that is poured into that cup of tea, or poured into my life over the past two months.

I have been sitting here, in this café, drinking tea and avoiding the reality of saying goodbye to everyone who has left their thumbprint on my life here in Cairo - and then understanding that most of them will not be here when I get back. I am torn between that crushing reality and the happiness of me stepping out into Hartsfield-Jackson on Monday night and seeing so many people that I love that have been absent from my life for the past two months, and will be absent again after the first of September. What weighs more - the pending heartache over my friends that are leaving here, or the existing one for everyone in my non-Egyptian life?

I find myself avoiding the responsibilities of my life at the moment in my cup of tea, including answering that question. Although I know it isn't true, I keep stirring pretending that I can drown all of those thoughts like a mint leaf, and they would dissolve like sugar.

you say you want a Revolution, well you know...

I got out of my black and white taxi this morning in the middle of Midan Tahrir and saw almost no one. It was like seeing it underwater or full devoid of buildings, it was so unsettling. Tahrir, at any point of any day, is usually full of people hustling and moving as one to their collective goals, even if it is only to sit and watch the chaotic symphony travel around the square. Every day, that is, except today. happy revolution day.


speaking of revolutions, I will be home in 5 days.

the salt sea air

I never realized how much I missed the wind. Something so simple, but in Cairo, it is a luxury. And in Alexandria, there was a beautiful abundance that smelled like the sea.It is so interesting to see a city that is such a compilation of cultures and histories. The ruins there are made up of layers of former civilizations, from the Upper Kingdom of Ancient Egypt, to the Greek-Egyptian hybrid in the time of Alexander the Great, the Ptolemaic dynasty, the Roman invasion of Julius Cesar, the Mamluk dynasty, and the violent birth of Mohamed Ali's modern Egypt, and the last days of the Egyptian kingdom.

The library is beautiful, and meant to symbolize the rising sun out of the Mediterranean Sea, poring light and knowledge from the center of the ancient world.The Fortress of Qaitbay, built from the stones of the Lighthouse of Alexandria, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, houses the memory of the massacre that ended the Mamluk dynasty and held off the impending Ottoman oppression, creating Modern Egypt and the beginning of kings.
Now the city is the beacon of Egyptian relaxation, with the Mediterranean bringing in that beautiful wind over beaches and buildings, mixing the smell of sea salt and shisha.

the Pyramids.

note to self: cross that off my life To-Do list.

first Egyptian days...

three days in Cairo. my findings:

1) awesome ladies. from AIESEC and from AUC/ALI. fantabulous.
2) haven't met very men of the AUC boys yet (segregated dorms and all that), but they look like promising cohorts.
3) Stella, the local brew, is not too shabby (much better than India's Kingfisher, for sure).
4) I apparently am a hookah "champ". I blame AIESEC and the gentlemen of the modern American hookah.
5) I love AIESEC. and all that comes with it. Especially the people.
6) Tamiyah = delicious. whoa jeez.
7) An incredible whirling dervish performance can simultaneously make you dizzy and lifted. more on that later.
8) I miss everyone at home. Just so you know.
9) I am so ready for school to start. Cairene life requires Arabic, and I have never wanted it more.
10) Internets work best after 1am. Anytime else it is slow as anything.
11) Cairo = breathtaking. Yellah.

I'm in Cairo...

...and I am alive. More than that.

I am living, living the Dream.

Four.

I have four days left in the States. I am indescribably terrified and excited and want to stay and leave at the same time.
I continue to procrastinate despite my earlier declaration against it, but I think I am subconsciously playing out this terrible anxiety in apathetic actions - if I do nothing, I feel nothing.
Clearly - from my odd dreams and minute freakouts - this is not working.
Enough is enough. Time to pack up my life.

honestly? I thought I was dreaming.

Have you ever opened an email, maybe in class, maybe not expecting anything, but then have been so blindsided by excitement you start crying? Like, struggling for breath, shaking, out of control, crying excitement?

yeah, that just happened.


I've been officially accepted not only to the Arabic Language Institute for the summer, but to the American University in Cairo for the next academic year.

yellah Masr.

yellah Masr.

I'm halfway through my application to AUC's full year program. It's terrifying me.
I hate applications, official looking forms, and the fact that I am putting my life in the system's hands. Eggs in the proverbial basket, so they say. I just hope that there is a basket there when I keep chucking eggs into it because I have no idea what is going to catch them if Egypt falls through.

Meanwhile, I feel like I am waiting for my life to start - and at the same time stuck in a limbo that refuses to let me do anything about it. A limbo of my own making, mind you. It's sad that the time when I really need the motivation and drive that a conference creates, I couldn't get myself to one. I lack everything that I need to move on - drive, determination, motivation. I don't know where I lost it, and I don't know where I can reclaim it, either.
There is this invisible barrier between me and everything I want right now, and I don't think I have what it takes to break it.

it's february...already.

1. so excited about RoKS. in a month. This genius (also available here) told me to host an LDS - this as close as I can get at the moment, being the Conference Coordinator (in charge of content development and the FACI-TEAM. yes, they do deserve all caps.) - Any suggestions are most welcome, by the way.

2. i just finished my application to American University in Cairo's Intensive Language Institute - a stint this summer that will hopefully be an introduction to the full year. More hopefully as a Boren Scholar/Fellow. Most hopefully living The Dream for a full calendar year.

3. I'm no lemming. I'll find my own cliffs to leap off of, thank you very much. Lemmings, however, somebody should bring back. Especially to my computer. (later searching has discovered it here...thanks Firdaus)

4. I'm getting my life together. finally. And it is about fucking time.

5. AIESEC in Madison is incredible. Read their conversations about growth, community, organizational culture, and AIESEC...seriously. I spent most of my past week trying to keep up - exactly the way I pictured nomadlife working when I signed on nearly a year ago.

6. I am least sure what I want in my life this minute. But the most sure of where I am going with it.

7. I am craving, more than anything right now, a Spotted Cow and an amazing conversation around my hookah. Any takers?