Skills I had in the job search.

toothpastefordinner.com

Filling out applications, writing cover letters, stressing about the direction of my professional future? not exciting.
Toothpaste for Dinner? always exciting.

live from Ma-Crazy Street.

1. I got home from Turkey, and was kind of relieved to be home. I loved Istanbul though, and want to go back sometime soon.
2. I hate drama. The end.
3. Working on my paper. Attempting to work on my paper. Something to do with paper.
4. I'd rather be working on my portfolio, but I don't really want to do that either.
5. AUC round 2 is almost done. Round 3 is creeping closer and closer.
6. My mommy is coming to Egypt. I'm worried that she will be terrified.
7. Realized walking through Zamalek that I won't be Christmas shopping this year - no pushy people in the malls, no cinnamon scented stores, no peppermint mochas, no cheesy Christmas music - I won't get any of that. And it made me a little sad. And I hate Christmas shopping. But I still realized I'm going to miss it. All of it.
8. I have a lot of pictures to be uploading. But I am not allowing myself to until after exams finish. You should be proud of that self-control.
9. I have gots no business socks.
10. 27 days until I head to London and Paris.
11. Lists might be the easiest way to procrastinate. And express my inability to form coherent sentences at the moment.

methods of Procrastination.

1. Never underestimate the power of celebrity obsession driven news.
2. Pretend to be a nerd. Or a monkey with some darts.
3. Facebook Lurk.
4. Decide that now, more than any time in the past six months, is better than any to finally upload some photos.
5. Laugh out loud.
6. Pick other classes with less pressing deadlines to do work.
7. Read-a-book read-a-book read a GD book.
8. Plan Thanksgiving dinner.
9. Decide, instead of forcing yourself to sit and work, that you can do research at the beach instead with some sweet new friends.
10. Research future career options that may or may not be dependent on you getting a good grade on this work you continue to put off.
11. Sleep.
12. Update your blog. Then obsessively check if other people have updated theirs.
13. Wash, rinse repeat. Go back to number 1.

Four.

I have four days left in the States. I am indescribably terrified and excited and want to stay and leave at the same time.
I continue to procrastinate despite my earlier declaration against it, but I think I am subconsciously playing out this terrible anxiety in apathetic actions - if I do nothing, I feel nothing.
Clearly - from my odd dreams and minute freakouts - this is not working.
Enough is enough. Time to pack up my life.

On my honor I will try.

I vow to not put off my work until the last minute from now on.
Procrastination is not my friend.

I'm easy like Sunday morning.

After a day of accomplishing nothing save a walk around Piedmont Park, a night of drunk people and the Ying Yang Twins, and tossing and turning all night, I woke up at 7:15 this morning. I then proceeded to eat breakfast, clean my room, clean my bathroom, go to the store to get a birthday present for a friend as well as my groceries for the week. After that, I cleaned out our refrigerator, fixed my calendar on my computer, planned my week, gave myself a pedicure and manicure, and then talked to my brother (via iChat in Paris).

It's been a fairly productive morning. I just hope that it will continue to be so when I start on the massive amount homework I have to do this week.

an Unaccomplished lady.

Spring break has been a dark void in which all of my time seems to disappear into nothingness and without any evidence of it passing. I have accomplished nothing in the past few days. And I have three more to finish everything.

I'm failing. again.

talk about a recognition structure.

I should start a love affair with AIESEC Madison. This is reason number 73. Talk about recognition structure and enjoying participation. Zaps to the badgers from the north.


PS. I have a test in less than three hours. Study? No. AIESEC work? yes. nomadlife-ing? abso-fucking-lutely.

get off your ass, woman.

or the world's gonna pass you by.

i have to get my act in gear. for real. i have so many choices to make in the next few days, and all i can find myself doing is watching the daily show, scribbling thoughts on the backs of papers, and buying movies without watching them. it's not for lack of things to do, for i have many. i am just avoiding responsibility for my life, which is no bueño, verdad.

i had such focus coming back from India. where has it gone? am i that demotivated that i have lost all interest in the direction of these next few days? weeks? years? lifetimes?
i don't want to disappoint anyone else, disappointing myself is enough, thanks. and i feel like that is all i am doing. i've swam enough circles to drown a dolphin, and beaten enough dead cows to throw me in indian prison.

i just wish i could get back to...whoever i was before i was this.
maybe i should figure out who that was. i need some definite soul searching. but, i don't think i can do it alone.

i can ALWAYS do it later.

so i sat down at 8 30 to write my paper for my ethics class.
it is now 1 08. i have not written a word.




i need to quit being ADD