a jaunt ends.

LevantaPalooza rolls closed, and I am really excited to go home. It's been an adventure, and I have interesting stories to tell. Some bad, some good, but in the end, the Dream lives on.

And less than a month left in Cairo until I head stateside. Which is growing more terrifying than I thought, and I am both dreading leaving and excited to leave. It's an odd simultaneous tearing that is located somewhere around my stomach. I can't tell which urge is stronger today.

Levant-a-Palooza 2009

Cairo - Beirut - Damascus - Amman - Jerusalem - Ramallah - Bethlehem - Amman - Cairo.
yellah, ya habibi.

القاهرة - بيروت - دمشق - عمان - القدس - رام الله - بيت لحم - عمان - القاهرة
يا الله, يا حبيبي

إن شاء الله - - Insha'Allah.

Dialogue.

Last week, AIESEC Egypt hosted the third Middle East North Africa Exchange and Leadership Development Seminar, and kicked the whole thing off with a Global Village, an event that allows delegates to share aspects of their culture through food, music, pictures, or anything like that. Now, I wasn't able to attend the conference because of school, but I was able to go to Global Village and see the twenty countries represented taking over the Corniche in Gezira. It is strange to think that it was two years ago that I was in Morocco, participating in the same thing. So much has changed since then, but its incredible to see familiar faces so much later.
(Gail from UAE and David Ziser from Kansas/Oman and me and the beautiful Denise from GT). A note on my t-shirt: My 19th birthday present from Katie Mitchell, a Ramblin' Wreck shirt that has the song on the back - this shirt has been worn to every conference and global village I have ever attended as a member of @GT. I am in love with it.)

As there was only one delegate representing the US, which was a little disappointing, but given the financial constraints of the conference and travel to Egypt is a little understandable, we helped deck out the table. Oreos, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter and jelly, Pepsi (although I was upset that our friend from @Madison bought Pepsi and not Coke...my Atlanta roots were pained by that), a Braves hat, and as much Obama stuff as I had in my apartment. Which was cool when people asked for pictures with us, the table, the flag, and Obama's picture.

Which brings me to the role of the Global Village - to learn about other cultures, build relationships, and use that knowledge to create conversations that may one day change the world. Which is just what Obama is doing. His message to Iran exemplifies just that, the willingness to learn about a culture, reach out to them, and begin a dialogue that will initiate change. It's a small step towards a bigger leap, and the man keeps making me proud.

This is exactly what we need around the world - the creation of dialogue. The inclusion of two parties contributing equally to a conversation about the world. And that doesn't just mean speaking, it means listening, too.

For example, the conflict in Israel and Palestine is many things. Complicated, important, heartbreaking, horrifying. But more than anything, I think it is something that changes in definition depending on who you ask. Before coming to Egypt, I was unsure of everything - I had read about it, and knew basics of the conflict, but my understanding of it has completely changed now. Not because I have chosen sides, but because I have had the opportunity to listen to both of them, learn from both of them. And it is increasingly frustrating to find people who refuse to initiate dialogue from a standpoint of being fair and balanced, from both sides.

If you want a different perspective of the conflict than what is usually reported in the US, check out this discussion started by an Israeli university on the role of their military in the conflict. For the full description, take a look at Haaretz, a left-leaning news center in Jerusalem. It is a step towards recognizing the need for developing an honest dialogue on both sides.

Epic Success.

Last night, I was notified by the fantastic Karen Pierce of the Georgia Tech International Plan that I had received $750 from the IP Stipend program to spend as my nomading deemed fit.

Right now, I'm sipping on Turkish coffee and purchasing my tickets to Turkey with that new found cash. I only thought it appropriate.

My Cairene nomading lives on.

yes, We can.

"That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."
- Barack Obama -

I'm more proud than I think I can put into words.

quand je rêve en français, est ce de ce que je rêve.

My current dream: to live here and survive on nothing but coffee and books and good wine.

A messy rebirth.

I don't even feel like I need to write about it, but I can't wrap my head around it yet. It's a chance for us who have been calling for something better to be that change in the organization that has so irrevocably changed us. Where do we stand, reborn? How do we grow again? Who will be the leaders, the teachers, the guiders? Can I count myself among them when I will be so far away? Will I be the new AIESEC US? Do I have the strength to be greater than those whose shoulders I have built upon? To be stronger? To be more humble in the face of the members that give me power? Because we are nothing without our smallest member, our newest face to the AIESEC family. I just know that my home, my family, is back on the map, and I couldn't be more proud of the work that they have done in the past two years I have known them.

epic failure.

I am an example in failure of Cairene blogging. And there is so much to write about, I apologize. There is so much here to share with you, I don't know where to begin. This summer, already, has been a revolution in perspective and in identity for me.

And on the note of exciting revolutions, I am so proud of the members of AIESEC in the United States for starting their own. It's time to start my part over here, Incha'Allah.

I'm in Cairo...

...and I am alive. More than that.

I am living, living the Dream.

honestly? I thought I was dreaming.

Have you ever opened an email, maybe in class, maybe not expecting anything, but then have been so blindsided by excitement you start crying? Like, struggling for breath, shaking, out of control, crying excitement?

yeah, that just happened.


I've been officially accepted not only to the Arabic Language Institute for the summer, but to the American University in Cairo for the next academic year.

yellah Masr.

I bet Carmen Sandiego never had to deal with this...

My heart goes out to my beloved Shanky. The boy challenged himself to travel halfway around the world, Live the Dream, and then experiences something monstrous - a brutal attack. I am simultaneously worried and proud of him - half of my heart wants him home, safe, but the other half wants him to continue living. And I know that these monstrosities are not limited to Kenya, they happen in Atlanta, too.
I experienced something similar (although much milder and less scary I'm sure), and more than anything I wanted to come home. I remember crying, in pain, in an Indian hospital torn between home and continuing the challenge. If I had gone home, I would have been a different person. I would be a different person. So much of that challenge shaped the direction of the rest of my experience (and little did I know, a great deal more of my life as I spent several weeks later in the year in the hospital) - if I had left early, there would have been so much that I would have not known. As terrible as it was, it shaped something spectacular for me.
Knowing the extent of the attack, I was also torn on another decision - whether or not to tell my parents. I crave comforting about the issue - god knows how worried I am about Sean. But on the other side of the coin - would my parents comfort be worth their ultimate worry about my safety in the year to come? Would continue to support my decision to spend the next chapter of my life in what they have labeled a "dangerous place"? Of course, comparing Cairo to Nairobi is a little like comparing tequila and rum - both are exciting, potentially risky, and delicious - just differently. But would they see that? I have the feeling that they would lump together all the places they didn't understand and categorize them under "Places we will not let our daughter go." Their understanding and support in my decision to face that challenge are nearly as important to me as the experience itself, and I know that without them this challenge would be about impossible. I guess it is hard for them to relate, my cravings for international experiences are a little, for lack of a better and less cheesy term, foreign to them. They still expect me to "wise up" one day and put on an engineer's hat, to chicken out, marry, and have those babies that my wide hips were made for, and are still wary of my passion and desire for all things Middle Eastern, challenging, and international. I think that they are proud in some ways, but find it difficult to explain why their daughter is on the other side of the world, why she spends so much time in a student organization they have never heard of, or what the hell her path through life spends so little time on native soil. My new friend faces the same issues convincing her parentals to experience the greatness of the traineeship rocketship. But again, it all comes back to the Dream. And if it comes down to living it or letting it pass by, you better be sure as hell that I am going to be living and breathing all I can of it.

Goodbye Poppa-Bear

Another one lives the Dream. Kazakhstan, you better love him as much as I do.
This incredible man has been the backbone of my AIESEC for the past year and a half - he has pushed and inspired and motivated me to want to be that for someone else.
Let's hope that I can live up to the challenge.

Daily Paradigm Shift

I respect, more than anything, the willingness of others to change. I revere individuals that embrace this phenomenon, the people that leap into change head first, not solely accepting changes that happen upon them, but their entire ambition is to constantly change and grow while supporting, pushing, encourage others to experience the same impact.
From reading about a revolution in perspective, to discussions with my role models about their direction in life, from gentle pushes from across the ocean to examine how to improve myself to improve others, to a hero of mine sincerely forcing me to look into the direction of my own - it constantly pushes me to change myself, my perceptions, and to focus my direction. To discover my purpose.
I am consistently impressed that AIESEC has placed these incredible people in my life. That their experiences in this organization has shaped them in away that they have been able to shape me, that their changes in perception of individuals, of cultures, of growth and the globe have so significantly changed my own. That taking on these challenges, whether it is a traineeship, an international conference, or leading other such amazing individuals, do not accept that they have overcome these challenges, but are constantly looking for new ones.
It is amazing that the slightness of one action impacts so many others. That missing a bus my freshman year allowed me to read a flyer advertising AIESEC, that one night of hunger turned into a dinner that cemented my personal connection to some other AIESECers that have been some of my closest friends, that one delayed plane caused me to have some of the most constructive and inspiring conversations of my life. That allowing myself to be dragged to one information session a year and a half ago could give me so many of the opportunities that AIESEC has.
Preston told me this, in a dead-tired, half-aware state on the plane somewhere over the Appalachian Mountains - there is a reason that change is in the word exchange. Because exchange may be the medium of AIESEC, but change is what we do.

it's february...already.

1. so excited about RoKS. in a month. This genius (also available here) told me to host an LDS - this as close as I can get at the moment, being the Conference Coordinator (in charge of content development and the FACI-TEAM. yes, they do deserve all caps.) - Any suggestions are most welcome, by the way.

2. i just finished my application to American University in Cairo's Intensive Language Institute - a stint this summer that will hopefully be an introduction to the full year. More hopefully as a Boren Scholar/Fellow. Most hopefully living The Dream for a full calendar year.

3. I'm no lemming. I'll find my own cliffs to leap off of, thank you very much. Lemmings, however, somebody should bring back. Especially to my computer. (later searching has discovered it here...thanks Firdaus)

4. I'm getting my life together. finally. And it is about fucking time.

5. AIESEC in Madison is incredible. Read their conversations about growth, community, organizational culture, and AIESEC...seriously. I spent most of my past week trying to keep up - exactly the way I pictured nomadlife working when I signed on nearly a year ago.

6. I am least sure what I want in my life this minute. But the most sure of where I am going with it.

7. I am craving, more than anything right now, a Spotted Cow and an amazing conversation around my hookah. Any takers?

namaste, hindustan.

tum to thehre pardesi
saath kya nibahogay
subha pehli gaadi say
ghar ko lot jaogay

foreigner, you don't belong here.
you cannot know love -
the train leaves tomorrow,
and you must go.

~~~

ten weeks ago, i stepped out into the blaring heat of New Delhi, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to do.
tomorrow - i leave here and travel back home, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to do.

i only know that India, AIESEC, and this summer has changed my life.

thanks.

if you didn't know - Rajhastan is a little sandy.

if you ever ride a camel, be prepared for your ass to hurt. a lot. (especially if you are the lucky one to fall off of the camel like me.)
it is an incredible experience, no doubt. you get to see a great deal of how desert life works, understand the isolation and, at times, ultimate peace of the desert - disturbed only by the bells of your camel, and my favorite part - getting to hang out with some of the coolest people from around the world you will ever meet.

we started out from Bikaner, the sixteen of us traveling twelve hours by dusty train from Chandigarh, not knowing what to expect. other than the sore ass of course. we traveled into the desert, listening to the wind, the bells on the camels, and each other. especially each other. this trip, though mostly painful, sandy, and exhausting, really showed me my favorite part of being on a traineeship - the people you meet. these people that share the frustration, the excitement, the discovery, the experience that a traineeship can offer you. you cannot imagine the bonding that occurs when you find yourselves halfway around the world - lost and trying to find your way. i know, for sure, that these people will be friends of mine for the rest of my life. already - we are planning trips to visit each other's countries, reunions in Las Vegas, and how much we will miss each other when this experience ends.

how can i define a traineeship and this experience i have had? i'm not sure, it is hard to define. it isn't about some heroic feat, some incredible change we are making in the world - it is about our lives running parallel for awhile, and getting to experience it with each other. it is not only about the stories we share while we sit around a fire in the desert, or on a train braving the winds blowing sand off the dunes, or about the changes we have found in ourselves, but also the stories we will keep forever when we leave this place and when we leave each other.
the traineeship is all about the story, the impact, and the experience. and in the years to come, i will look back on this summer in India, this summer i spent on the other side of the world, and know for sure that it will have been one of the greatest of my life, and that every person i have met has changed my life in some way.
and i think that this trip to the desert, on the back of a camel, was when i truly realized it.

and then the rain came down...

toje deka to ye jana sanam
pyal hota he divana sanam
ab jahan se kahan jae ham
teri bahon me mar jae ham

when I first saw you, I knew love
the moment we met I loved you
my love, what would i do without you?
I would forever lie in your arms

...

The air was getting thicker with clouds and the pending monsoon. We sat on the porch of our apartment watching the lightning color the sky orange and the winds shake the mango trees on our street, listening to each other sing songs from our homelands. and learning songs and cultures from each other.

and that is when the rain began to fall. it was a perfect moment. it was everything that i am beginning to love about India.

constant contradictions.

So something I have discovered about India, beyond the obvious other things.
It is a place of huge contradictions.

I was riding a bus back from Delhi (a non-air conditioned bus at that, talk about grossly and disgustingly hot, dirty, sweatiness...) and was watching the landscape roll by. One of the first things evident in India, beyond heat and noise, is the incredible amount of poverty. About 23% of the population of India lives below the poverty line, at about 100 Rupees a day (around $2.15). And believe me - Rs. 100 does not go very far here - clean water costs Rs. 15 a liter and a half kilo of rice is about Rs. 70. It is difficult to imagine a meal for an entire family - just one meal - on that budget. And it isn't hidden or subtle - a taxi from the Delhi airport passes through blocks filled with corrugated metal houses covered in colorful tarps that are stolen from stores and construction sites.
This bus ride was through some small villages and towns, many with crumbling brick buildings or actual thatched huts - and there was one village that we passed that was about the size of maybe half a football field, falling apart, and covered with mud and filled with people sleeping in the shade of a tarp to keep out of the blistering sun. Above the main market (a mere wooden table with a tarp and a few chairs filled with emaciated men and women) was a sign for an investment company, a non-Indian company, that showed a women being driven in a luxury car and looking at skyscrapers in the distance. It was captioned - "Building a New India".
Another, a few kilometers up the road, with no visible town or village in sight, a man was herding cows under a sign advertising the announcement of a brand new mall and multiplex to be developed on the site. The man had to avoid the deep holes and concrete pillars that were already crumbling, the site began years ago and has not progressed.
Alcohol advertisements are built on huge signs next to Sikh temples, and half dressed women sell makeup and perfume while the women below walk with their heads and faces covered by veils.
It is difficult to see these attempts or symbols of Indian progress - especially that of the Indian elite in contrast against the impoverished. It seems almost as if India wants to prove its arrival into the world market as a major contender, where in reality it is only the wealthy that progress. There is so much work to be done here. So much that needs to change in order to move forward.
Maybe, just maybe, I can work to make a difference here. It breaks my heart to think that I might not have an effect in my 10 weeks here - I will try everything I can to.

byebye baby, baby good-bye

and I'm off.
It's an incredible feeling that I am finally heading out. I am still in shock. I am finally going to be working toward the Dream.

well, abracadabra homes.
see you on the other side of the world...